All of your friends have finally found their “soulmates”, granted that there is the probability that they will break up and your single self will help them pick up the pieces, but as of now, they are happy and they are annoying the hell out of you.
You know they mean well, you know they just want you to be happy but sometimes you wish that they would actually listen to you when you say that you don’t want to be with somebody right now. All those times when they keep on matchmaking you with their significant others’ friends and you getting more and more disappointed with every succeeding introductions, you just want to tell them to stop “spreading the love” because honestly, you don’t want it right now.
You do say it. Again and again but they will just smile and say, “Oh, you will also find your soulmate, don’t worry, they’ll just pop out of nowhere when you least expect them to.”
But the thing is, you are not looking. You really are not, because you are focusing on trying to love yourself first and trying to get on with your career. You tell them that, but they’ll just say that you need someone to help you rebuild yourself. But the thing is, you don’t want another person to burn themselves so just you can be warm.
Sometimes they do get frustrated with the failed match making that they tell you that you are too picky, too particular. They just want to see you settled. You balk at the idea because you are only twenty and you won’t settle at twenty. Sure you may not be the best, but settling down is not an option when you know that there is an opportunity to find a better option.
You are happy for your friends, really. Although there are times that you feel a smidgen of envy. You know you should be happy for them, unconditionally happy. But sometimes you want to have what they have, to feel important to another person as if you are the very air that they breathe. You want to be someone’s constant, yet you are also terrified of the idea.
There are also times when you miss your friends because most of their time is devoted to their significant others. You would always be the third wheel, the awkward pseudo chaperone. It feels lonely sometimes, but you are okay with it. There are also times that they bail on you just to be with their significant others. That, you are not okay with (although terms and conditions apply). It irks you, but you know they are happy so you try to be too.
You know they just want to help you find the “one” and you know they mean well. But sometimes it is okay to tell your friends to stop meddling with your love life (or lack thereof) you are both happy in where you both are and you hope it stays that way. You know they think that love would work for you because it worked for them. But it probably won’t at this moment.
So tell your friends that you you love them but they really need to stop with the matchmaking, to stop telling you to wait for that special person. You are fine on your own. Sure, you may sound bitter to their lovesick ears but you are happy with your status as of the moment. And maybe, if and maybe when you have learn to love yourself, you will ask them for dates. But as of now, no.
Downward Trajectory 