My mind works in a weird way. I was sexually harassed yesterday by a patient, he touched my breast while I was giving his IV meds. The weird thing is I know it happened but now I feel like it didn’t. Or at least my mind denies it. I don’t know.
I was telling it earlier to the staff and I was sort of smiling-laughing while I’m saying it. It just sounded ridiculous to me. Like that thing cannot possibly happen. It can’t.
It’s not really my first time being harrased like that. But same as what happened now, my mind refuses to acknowledge that it happened in reality. When I remember what happened, I feel like the me back then is separate from the me right now. It’s like I’m watching a film version of myself, a fictional version of myself.
I know it’s not the healthiest coping mechanism. Maybe my mind is still reeling from the incident that it chose to deny everything just to not throw up or get hurt. But I know that it happened because it also happened to the other staff so it’s not an isolated case. And I knew that it was not an isolated case because I told them about what happened to me before telling me that did also happen to them.
Good thing is, they’re going to report the patient.