I was always good with starting things. New ideas, uncontrollable impulses, irrational cravings — they were my solace in my perfectly planned life. The thrill of doing something new, of not knowing what the next step would be, it was a heady feeling for me, and I would stay drunk in it for a few days. Then suddenly, as if leaping in a cold pool after a whole night of drinking, you will feel the thrill leave your veins, and you will stay in a limbo of sobriety and intoxication.
It is quite a process really.
For a few days (or hours, sometimes a few minutes) I would totally devote my time to the cause; researching, thinking, planning, and fantasizing about what my nonexistent future would be. Then I would write, build or whatever it is that I thought of doing. Sometimes I finish it, sometimes I don’t, it all depends on my attention span.
Sometimes though, I would stop halfway because doubts starts creeping in my mind — what if it’s not good enough, or if it is downright lame, am I violating rules of proper grammar— things like that.
Anyway, I am starting this blog again. Not that anyone would read it or anything. I hope that I could update this from time to time, because ranting about something is best done behind the anonimity the net provides. Right?